I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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