where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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