i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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