Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Please, let me fuck your mom
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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