Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
