I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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