I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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