maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
