I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
