You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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