Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
