just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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