Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
