I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
