Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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