True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
