now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
