what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
