I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do vagina's smell?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
