This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
