she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
