Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
