Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
