So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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