you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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