There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Buhtt sex?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
