You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
