I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
