I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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