The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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