Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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