i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
