I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
NoShamevember. You game?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
