Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish you could order shots online.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
