i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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