I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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