There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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