where am i from again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
