Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
