my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
