the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
