thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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