fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
