Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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