so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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