I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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