youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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