Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
