you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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