you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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