I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I didn't notice because vodka
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Shame - the story of my life.
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