I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
